An Actor's Life


I’m bigger than Jesus!

It’s true, I’m bigger than Jesus. That’s not the Lennon-esque height of arrogance, rather the arrogance of height. Jesus (possibly) was hanging around being a groovy kind of guy in the same time period as the early Roman Empire and those guys had an average height of like 5’2″ maybe 5’4″ either way they’re not dunking anytime soon. As Jesus likely had a far worse diet than a Roman and pre-dates those measurements with every generation being taller than the last he’s likely to be 5 foot tops. I know his dad is supposedly a big guy, but I think when conception is immaculate its screws with the genetics.

Plus, I’m 6’4″, which back then would’ve been pretty huge. I mean while I was in Shanghai people were asking for their photos with me in 2010 just because I’m so freakishly tall. So in 1AD I would’ve been walking round going “Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum!” Of course there wouldn’t have been any Englishmen for my bread yet.

So to sum up, I am bigger than Jesus. Factually plausible.

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Back home

Well wasn’t that fun? A month in Shanghai that flew by and what seemed like the speed on sound. I’ve been working for the Natural Theatre Company on behalf of the British Council at the UK Pavilion for Expo 2010. It was incredible, the thing didn’t look real.

We got back home at midnight Sunday (7am Monday in our heads) and on Monday afternoon I met with Ian McGlynn to discuss his casting of Anti-Panto. We were inundated with young female applicants but a little light on older males, as a result Malus is about twenty years younger than written. Take that Oil of Olay! I’m really excited about the show, the read through before China went very well indeed and the cast sound great. Doron of Sketchy at Best will be returning to the New Old Friends family and we couldn’t be happier to have him. Tickets are already selling well but there are still seats to be had – 01225 463362. Book ’em up.

In other New Old Friends news; Sketchy at Best hits the road next May for the company’s first national tour! We are still finalising the last few venues but all is looking groovy. The company is like a Peugot; we go from strength to strength. We are not like a Citroen; pseudo teutonic French rubbish. I leave you with a dressing room shot from Shanghai, it’s me and Heff in too much lycra being bees.



Lazy lazy Feargy

I’ve been at a meeting with the excellent Natural Theatre Company helping plan out the template for their educational package today. It was a fun meeting, very theatre, everyone sat around a table with a flip chart and cups of coffee. Very informal, it cracked me up how close to the stereotype it played.

As fun as it was, it was actually pretty tiring which coupled with a lack of sleep last night has left me shattered and lazy in terms of blogging. Need to conserve my strength as I’m off to see Inception tonight. Was foiled in my attempt last week so had to settle for the lovely Toy Story 3. I end with a trailer for Inception.



A good day!
July 26, 2010, 2:12 pm
Filed under: Career Arc, Just funny | Tags: , , , , , ,

Continuing on from last week’s marvellous Monday musings this week is off to a flying start! Yipee! Don’t worry there have been no confirmed sightings of winged dates, its just an expression.

Why am I so chipper on this traditionally dour day you ask? Three reasons; one, I’m walking home from work in the sun at like ten past three. Winner. Two, readthrough the first half of Anti-Panto with Heff this morning, its not awful which is always good. Definitely showing early promise. Thirdly, and still in Anti-Panto news, people have already bought tickets! The brochure hasn’t even been mailed yet and they’ve only been online a little over a week but people are buying them! Excellent news, buying Christmas show tickets in July, expect a sell-out.

Brilliant day, and its not over yet. Hope you’re all well where you are. X



Blog blip
July 23, 2010, 8:52 am
Filed under: Career Arc, Just funny | Tags: , , , , , ,

I didn’t get around to blogging yesterday as I was incredibly busy listening to hundreds of answerphone messages. No, I wasn’t doing due diligence on my new leave a message missive, I was in fact calling round the small to mid scale theatres of this fair land.

I learnt a couple of things, chief among them that an awful lot of theatre types don’t start work until after lunch.

I rang 100 venues, I managed to speak to maybe 6 actual venue managers and secure one pencil two maybes and three we don’t do comedies. Another four or five were attached to schools/colleges and won’t be programming until September. Leaving around 90 very polite messages left in my dulcet tones. Actually make that 89, at one point I lost the plot and the message went; um…hallo, I’m Fearg from New Old Friends, I’m calling for…um…programming your spring season…um… And so on, not pretty. X



Being Funny

I’m currently in the middle of writing Anti-Panto and it is tough work. The plot is all there; Cinderella meets North by North West. I’ve mapped out all the scenes and how I want them to play out, but now I’ve actually got to get in there and write the dialogue. The show IS a pantomime so I want to keep some of that  style of stuff, but it isn’t a family show. It’s older, and I don’t want to lose the audience by talking down to them. The brilliantly bizarre comic Mitch Hedburg once said of being a comedy writer: “My job is to think of something funny and then write it down. Unless I can’t find a pen, in which case I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn’t funny.” He’s got a point. Trying to be funny is so difficult on a deadline.

I’m writing stuff and then realising that 5 lines have gone past without a gag, so I have to create one. When you’ve set your head to “funny” you can’t be sure what is laugh out loud good and what is simply amusing. This blog I’m writing right now for example is neither. I’ll pep it up with an old joke: do you say nee-ther or nigh-ther? Oh come on, you must use one! Comedy gold there. You see what I’m up against.

What is another word for synonym?



More Tim Minchin

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