An Actor's Life

Oh and Gee
May 10, 2011, 8:13 am
Filed under: Career Arc, Just funny | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Good morning blogosphere, and you too Twittersphere. The lady wife and I met some delightful photographers yesterday to chat about our impending nuptials (the eagle eyed among you may have noticed I called her the lady wife and then spoke of upcoming nuptials, I’m not a bigamist just eager) the happy snappers were lovely. But they are really cheap, like 25% cheaper than anyone else AND they do more. Rather than being cause for celebration it has worried us. Why so cheap? We wonder are they too young? Have the rushed into this? Do they really understand the importance of a marriage? Can they handle this? Is she pregnant?

The writing is going well, although my confidence took a knock when the other half of New Old Friends read the script and the first thing she said was “There are lots of good gags, but I don’t get the story.” Bugger. But one of those gags for you now:

Oh and Gee

You mean OMG

Do I?

Yeah, its an acronym of Oh My God.

Oh, I thought it was a retro-slang amalgam of Oh, as in oh golly, and Gee as in gee whiz.

Jokey joke!


Writing Comedy
May 6, 2011, 9:05 am
Filed under: Career Arc, Just funny

Writing comedy is hard, I don’t mean the word smart-arse. That’s relatively simple, although I have seen posters with things like “hilarious comady” emblazoned upon them so there we go. Maybe that show dealt with the laugh-a-minute scenario of being comatose. Who knows.

No, I’m talking about sitting down at my lap-top and writing a 90 minute play with plenty of laughs in. Its called The Happy Couple and I’ve set myself the challenge of writing a story about two people in love without all the usual cliches of infidelity, break-ups, beatings, death etc. A lovely and noble aim, problem is conflict is the soul of both drama and comedy. Which leaves me with whimsy, surrealism and word play. So far my favourite effort is a bizzare episode involving a radio, sheeps milk and the punch line “In space no-one can hear ewes cream!”

As I said writing comedy is hard.

The Happy Couple is on at The Rondo theatre in Bath June 22nd tickets are a mere £5 available from 01225 463362.

Polling day
May 5, 2011, 8:17 am
Filed under: Just funny

Today is polling day, which I rather think should’ve been May 1st. It could’ve been May-Poling and polling day. I’m not particularly sold on the concept of AV but I’ll be voting yes simply because I’ve been reliably informed that the Tories stand to lose most by doing so.

I’ve grown up in a staunch lefty house and always had an ingrained dislike of the Conservatives without honestly feeling it in my bones, my political awareness started with 1997 and my mum literally becoming a champagne socialist after the victory. As we all know New Labour acted like total pricks and I kept hearing that they were behaving like Tories, so I couldn’t really work up the anger at these supposedly priviledged elitest fucksticks. So thank you Mr Cameron you’ve gifted me a lovely little reserve of (abiding I’m sure) hatred for you, your party and your total disregard for those less fortunate with money. New Labour may have acted like pricks but you sir have taken my disgust to all knew and far too vulgar lows. At least I feel like I fit in at lefty-gatherings now.

In other news I wrote a joke the other day:

I was approached on the street by someone trying to get me to invest in pharmeceutical giant Glaxo-Smith-Klein, and I almost did. But then I thought “Don’t give them any money, they’ll just spend it on drugs!”

Melbourne Baby!
April 11, 2011, 12:04 am
Filed under: Career Arc, Just funny

G’day mates, I’m still in sunny Oztralia. Except of course its not sunny, it is pissing it down all over the gorgeous Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Even with weather imported from a Welsh winter break I’m loving this festival. As a performer here I get free passes to all the shows. All of them. I’ve seen five so far and I’m aiming to get my tally up around the twenty mark.

Current favourites are Tig Notaro – a dry American lady who was very funny indeed. And New Art Club – a pair of likeable Brits who have one gag, they are an experimental dance company performing ludicrous dances on unsuitable subjects (shit on your shoe, an IRA beating) luckily the have the charm and charima to make each dance hilarious. There really isn’t anybody quite like them, the lurid unitards they wear are funny enough to hold a show even if the dancing doesn’t entertain (which it will)

So good times being had by moi, obviously I miss Blighty’s charms most notably my family and gorgeous fiance, but it feels good to be surrounded by so many talented comics. I’m trying to find an open spot to do some stand-up out here but the festival is in full-swing so most things are already filled. I will report back with findings. I have taken the sum total of zero photographs which I will attempt to rectify from now on and share with you peeps.

K T Tunstall
April 8, 2011, 12:47 am
Filed under: Career Arc | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Because I’m on the other side of world “hoo hoo!”

Yes, I am in Australia. Specifically Melbourne, at the International Comedy Festival. It’s a bit cool innit? I’ve been put in a plane for 22 hours and given a swanky room in a city centre hotel (very nice) and on top of all that I’m getting paid to be funny. I just have to be funny now. Today is the day of our first show in the dotMaze, which is a HUGE installation in Federation Square, a public  space which is slap-bang in the middle of Melbourne. It looks amazing and is already creating quite a stir. Its my first time with the company (dotComedy) and I’m very excited to get to work later on today.

I realise there are no jokes in this little entry, but its pretty informative and I did sing to you at the start.

This will be brief
March 30, 2011, 8:28 pm
Filed under: Just funny


I’m nothing if not honest.

Form is temporary
March 29, 2011, 9:34 am
Filed under: Just funny

Its a classic football cliche “Form is temporary, class is permanent.” But I’m not so sure, is class really for good? What about social climbers, by which I mean people who aggressively pursue a higher station in life as opposed to chatty cliff scalers. I, for example, was firmly convinced I was working class growing up. It seems ridiculous I would have had such delusions of grandeur now (in our family we’re a bit downwardly aspirational, my dad’s an ex-public schooly turned trade unionist; to be working class is a dream of his) so there I was Feargus Wylie Woods Dunlop thinking myself working class. I had four names! One of them was Wylie! Who was I kidding? I got a bit of an awakening when I left the very rough (compared to Bath) Peasedown St John and moved to the very tranquil (compared to Tripoli) Wakefield.

In my first month living there we had a BNP rally in the street which confused the hell out of me because it was a majority immigrant street. Then I realised intimidation not recruitment was the real motive, arseholes (BNP not the immigrants although I’m sure some are, its just the law of averages)

In Wakey suddenly I was posh, it was weird. I’d always been the non-posh one; my school was in special measures, I can’t speak French, we didn’t take skiing holidays (OK we took one) and now here I was being asked genuinely if I knew Prince William. It was odd. Just before irate Northerners write in, I’m not suggesting all of West Yorkshire is an area deprived of poshness, but the places I frequented clearly were.

So back to class, what is it? I heard recently that you’re not really middle class if you drink instant coffee- “One really should grind one’s own” dontcha know. I’ve always like the bizarre middle class restaurant accent; an inflection of French when ordering salmon encrute (I can’t be truly middle class I have no idea how to spell encrute) a hint of Italian when ordering a Parma ham and mozzarella ciabatta, but what bugs me is they never adopt an Indian accent when ordering biryani do they?

If you’d like to watch a clip of my dad Alastair ‘Scargill” Dunlop giving a rather good account of why he took to the streets Saturday watch this clip.

No gags, he’s just awesome.