Filed under: Just funny | Tags: actor, adult, christmas, comedy, Feargus, funny, humor, humour, jesus, jokes, language, life, literature, new old friends, punchlines, religion, rondo, sketch, sketchy at best, theatre, writing
It’s true, I’m bigger than Jesus. That’s not the Lennon-esque height of arrogance, rather the arrogance of height. Jesus (possibly) was hanging around being a groovy kind of guy in the same time period as the early Roman Empire and those guys had an average height of like 5’2″ maybe 5’4″ either way they’re not dunking anytime soon. As Jesus likely had a far worse diet than a Roman and pre-dates those measurements with every generation being taller than the last he’s likely to be 5 foot tops. I know his dad is supposedly a big guy, but I think when conception is immaculate its screws with the genetics.
Plus, I’m 6’4″, which back then would’ve been pretty huge. I mean while I was in Shanghai people were asking for their photos with me in 2010 just because I’m so freakishly tall. So in 1AD I would’ve been walking round going “Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum!” Of course there wouldn’t have been any Englishmen for my bread yet.
So to sum up, I am bigger than Jesus. Factually plausible.
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