An Actor's Life


Tonight’s the night

Museltof! As the Black Eyed Peas would say. I think that song¬† is hilarious, simply for that one Yiddish interjection. I think all songs should be retro-fitted with arbritrary Jewish slang “We are the champions my friend…Gazuntite!” Class.

Anyway, tonight is indeed the night. “The night of what?” you cry, “Calm down” I reply I’m getting there. Tonight is the night of Bon Bon’s Christmas Baubles; the festive installment of the cabaret night that New Old Friends perform our hilarious sketches at. I say hilarious, they were hilarious last time around. It’s at about this point that I start doubting¬† the material. We’ve got one or two sure-fire winners in there, the opener for example is pretty much nailed on considering our audience.

You see, these nights are a fund-raiser for a festival called “Widcome Rising” and as such are generally attended by middle-class dahlings from Widcome. The average age is certainly 40+ so most of the cock gags and really cutting stuff are shelved. This lot are more of a Radio 4 audience, only not listening as hard. We open with a musical number; a singer is hired to sing a song for a ‘festive’ party, he opens with White Christmas but is repeatedly stopped because Christmas is un-PC to say, as is white, as is dreaming – it offends insomniacs apparently. Eventually he asks if there is anything else, the nerdy organiser replies

“Just one little thing…could you sing it a bit more…black.”
“Black?”
“Yes, black. At the moment you’re singing it in a very, you know, white person’s style. We’d prefer it to sound more black.”
“But I’m a white singerr. Why didn’t you just hire a black singer?”
“Well we thought that would be patronising.”

Tadaa!

I’m going to try to get the whole thing filmed and if I’m succesful will relay the results to you. I don’t have a video camera as yet but I’m working on it.

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