An Actor's Life


Tongue twister titters on twitter?
November 17, 2009, 2:58 pm
Filed under: Career Arc | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hello¬†people! Yes,¬†we officially have people up in here. Fine, we have person but we’re growing.

So, today I’m still not working, see the definition of actor in my inaugral post. I have however, applied for a role in a tour of Romeo & Juliet in Italy. That’s right imagine giving it “would I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that face” in Verona itself? Would be good, huh?

I’ve been working on some more sketches for the show on the 17th of December too. Keeping it Radio 4 friendly, so lots of wordy jokes so far. I’m currently working on some more tongue-twister material as our Peter Piper police went down so well last time;

ME – Tell us what you know!
HEF – I can’t say it.
ME – Tell us!
HEF – It’s too difficult to say.
ME – TELL ME!!!
HEF – Ok, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
ME – I knew it, but we need evidence, if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, wheres the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked? Did you see where he went?
HEF – Round the ragged rocks the ragged rascal ran.
ME – Damn. He must of had an accomplice.
HEF – Uh, huh.
ME – Who?
HEF – Betty.
ME – Betty?
HEF – Betty.
ME – What’s she doing mixed up in this?
HEF – Betty’s bankrupt.
ME – Betty’s bankrupt? How?
HEF – Well, Betty bought a bit of butter, but the bit of butter Betty bought was bitter. So Betty bought a better bit of butter, to make the bitter butter better.
ME – And what does Betty do these days?
HEF – She sells sea shells on the sea shore.

If that’s not funny, try getting a mate to say it out loud with you. It takes a little rehearsal but is a winner with middle class crowds. Anybody that has well-known tongue-twisters to share please do leave them in the comments.

My plans for the rest of the day include going for Mexican with an old mate, will give me a chance to use one of my favourite ‘bad’ jokes – “Why should you never eat Mexican cheese? ‘Cos it’s nacho cheese!” Gold. Some people think it’s racist but it’s not. I will elaborate.

‘Racist’ comedy was very much in vogue up until fairly recently, then it went underground for a bit and now is back in the mainstream with the caveat of being ‘ironic’. I have a slight problem with ironic racism due to the fact that even if you’re saying “We’re both too clever to actually think that all black people are stealing our stereos, but it’s a funny stereotype isn’t it?” You’re still perpetuating the stereotype that causes ethnic minorities to be victimised by police and moronic bigots. I hate casual racism, but love the image conjured up; two Klan members leaning against a wall smoking a black guy walks past “Shall we lynch him?” “No, can’t really be bothered.”

Anyway, I’ve strayed from my original point, which was that my Mexican joke isn’t racist. Neither is a joke about June Sarpong being brown and sticky, she is brown in colour and has arms like twigs. Simply mentioning race and colour isn’t in itself racist, it’s just observation. Racism comes when you attribute qualities universally to a race, for example all black people are thieves. Or even positive attributes like “All chinks are clever” Ok the racial slur in that one helps. So jokes about people’s colour aren’t intrinsically racist. Not funny, but true.

I’ll see you tomorrow when I will single-handedly…type for a bit.

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