An Actor's Life

November 12, 2009, 11:16 am
Filed under: Career Arc | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Ok, lets see… what do we have here? Yet another blog. Good.  Can’t get too many of those bad boys can you? So what’s the main raison detre or currant detergent or whatever of this one?

Well, my lovely readers I am an actor. As you are all no doubt aware being an actor is code for ‘sporadically employed’ and therefore I have free time on my hands. Too much. If the free time cost anything at all I’d be in an even worse financial situation than I am now. To fill my free time I’m going to write musings on the trials and tribulations of an actor’s life here. I also write comedy so hopefully this will be funny. Initial signs are fairly unpromising but believe me if you stick with it, this here blog will have you rolling in the aisles. Should that occur the obvious question is where are you reading this that has aisles? Do you surf at the cinema? Or on a plane? At a wedding? That would be great – “Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?” “Hang on, just finishing off this article in The Onion.”

So, on with the musings. Right now the musings run something like this; I am employed – Great. The work I am employed doing is lovely but not really where I want to be going – less great. Let me clarify. I work for the fabulous Natural Theatre Company. We provide excellent street theatre comedy characters, worth noting that we aren’t limited to street stages we often do parties and corporate events etc. The work is great, and funny, and people smile at you and I hope to continue doing it for a long old while. However, I also very much hope to play Hamlet at the RSC before I’m 30 and the two things don’t really have a lot of crossover. It’s hard to really access you inner struggle with your father’s death whilst wearing a flower pot on your head. Ah, right yeah. One of  the Natural’s most famous characters are the Flowerpots, sharply dressed British stereotypes with flowerpots for heads.

So yeah, that’s where I am now really. I love the work I do, but I wish there was a bit more variety in it and my ego is crying out for some director somewhere to say

Dir: “You! Yes you. You with the face and stuff.”
Me: “Me?”
Dir: “Do you have a face?”
Me: “Yes.”
Dir: “Stuff?”
Me: “I have a limited amount of stuff, yes.”
Dir: “Good, then I should like for you to be in my play because I think you are truly fantastic and are going to revolutionise the way the world thinks of theatre. In fact you may even revolutionise the way the world thinks of the world. Maybe even the way they think of revolution!”
Me: “Wow, that sounds great. Will I be the lead?”
Dir: “No too tall for the lead, you’ll play the third spear carrier from the left.”
Me: “Ok. Done.”

That is the extent of my longings. This conversation plays itself out in my head daily, it has yet to transfer to any other venues although we live in hope. I hope you have enjoyed this post, if you’d like to check back tomorrow I’m going to divulge the meaning of life. I can’t believe people have been searching for so long and not found it, I just looked it up in a dictionary and the meaning was right there, in between lieutenant and lift.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

the ego is a dangerous mistress, she can take you to places that only exsist in your mind, but the way she does it, you believe they are real.

Comment by nobbydamus

I hate to out myself as shallower than the pre-school learning curve but I have less than no idea what this means. I love it though, sounds very impressive.

Comment by feargy

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